World-renowned baller and "freelance stunta" A.A. Ronald "Young Squire" Rosenthal has been spotted in recent weeks courting Lindley Park housecat Patches. The two were first spotted on June 19 by a photographer in Rosenthal's living room, as they sat together on an old, brown sofa. Rosenthal has yet to comment on Patches, and his management declined a telephone interview.
Patches, a native of Guilford County, was previously owned by Steve Trotter, who is believed to have raised her from birth. Trotter--whose last known local address was listed as 2882 Cascade Dr, in West Greensboro--was unavailable for comment. Inspections of Patches' medical records (conducted by The Concept) have revealed that she is in fact quite healthy, testing negative for rabies or Feline Leukemia.
Since the first photographs emerged, the Young Squire and Patches have kept a rather low profile. Previously, Rosenthal had thrown almost weekly galas and balls. Alas, no more. Rosenthal's residence--in the 600 block of Chapman--has been practically empty, with few lights on in the evening.
"It's definitely a lot more quiet, yeah." Greensboro Police Sgt. D.L. Perkins commented, as he patrolled the 2900 block of Brice late one Thursday night. "You used to have kids drinking and socializing along the entire sidewalk some nights. All Rosenthal. He would have charity bashes--big events. We're not sad to see them go."
A neighbor of Rosenthal--who identified himself only as "Brewtime"--reported that he had seen Rosenthal and Patches together on several occasions. "There used to be some goofy Mexican dude that was living there for a while. But he's gone now."
No one knows what will become of the patrons of the Young Squire's many events. Police, who identified them as "hot little hussies and beer-bongin' bros," suspect that they have moved on to other cultural and societal events in the Triad area.
A couple of stoned hippies at Walker and Elam, among others, wonder if the age barrier will be the ultimate test to the Young Squire's newfound affection. According to NC Division of Motor Vehicles records, Rosenthal is 18 years of age. Patches, according to Four Seasons Veterinary Hospital records, is approximately seven years of age.
Doctors at Moses Cone Memorial Hospital speculate that a greater barrier would be that of differing species. Rosenthal is human; Patches, according to the Four Seasons records, is a feline.
"If the young squire were to…sow his royal oats…with this cat in the news…either we will see him here for an advanced penile infection, or Patches will be seeing the cat doctors for a massive rectal re-tightening…" Advised Dr. Peter Lorimer, an emergency surgeon at Moses Cone.
Below: An unidentified photographer sent Gossip the following shocking photos:
